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第四章 命运(4)

所属目录:何以笙箫默    何以笙箫默作者:顾漫

“不等了,其实我只是想来看看她过得好不好,然后,有一些事情想问她。”默笙顿了一顿,“现在我已经知道她过得不错,那些事情,我也突然不想问了。”

结局已经如此,原因已经不再重要了。

“黄阿姨,谢谢你。请不要说我来过了。”

临走的时候问黄阿姨要了父亲公墓的地址,金鸡山A区157座,好像住宅地址一样的牌号。

不是清明这样拜祭的时节,金鸡山上几乎没有人,默笙坐在父亲的墓碑旁,头靠在碑上,就像父亲在世的时候父女俩聊天的姿势。

默笙现在也在和爸爸聊天:“爸爸,这么久才来看你,你不会怪我吧?其实我一直不想回来……”

“我可能太懦弱了,接受不了。为什么明明我走的时候还是一个人,现在却是一块碑?”

“我老觉得,只要我不回国,你就还活着似的,我还记得我上飞机前你给我买的芝士饼干……那时候你骗我说让我去美国看看好不好,不好再回来,可是我觉得一点都不好,却回不来……”

公墓照片上和默笙有几分相似的年轻人自始至终亲切地微笑着,默笙抓着衣袖擦了擦照片:“爸爸,这张照片还是你大学时候的吧?别以为用这么年轻的照片,就可以冒充年轻鬼。”

山间笼罩着薄薄的雨雾,四周寂静得仿佛世间再没有声音,默笙敲了敲墓碑:“爸爸你都不理我。”

沉默良久,默笙的眼睛渐渐变得像山间的雾一样朦胧。“爸爸,他说,嗯,就是何以琛,你还记得吧,他说我们可以重新在一起……你觉得好吗?”

自然没人回答,过了一会,默笙低声喃喃自语:“其实我也觉得不大好,他那么优秀,一直都有很多人喜欢,他可以找到更好的人。我们分开那么多年,之间有那么多陌生,重新在一起的话,只会矛盾重重,他很快就会对我失望透顶,他以前就经常对我失望……到时候如果再分手,我不知道自己会怎么样,现在这样子,起码我已经习惯了……”

说到这里再也说不下去,不知过了多久,默笙轻轻地说:“我什么都很好,你不要担心我……我要走了,爸爸。”

下山的时候,雨已经停了。在山脚回望那快要消失在夜色与薄雾中的山头,仿佛已经是两个世界。

回到城里天已经黑了,默笙看了看手机上的时间,看来只能明天再走了。到市区连问了几家旅舍,都回答说已经客满,最后找了家市中心价格昂贵的酒店住下来,洗好澡烘干衣服,睡觉还太早,便起身下楼。

酒店一出去就是Y市最繁华的贞观路。Y市山青水秀,也是小有名气的旅游城市,此时贞观路上的游客还不少,默笙忽然想起,自己第一次在Y市见到以琛,就是在这条繁华的路上。

那时候他们已经是男女朋友,然而大一寒假放假回家的时候,以琛却怎么都不肯给她家里的电话号码,她当时又委屈又难过,哪有女朋友连男朋友家里的电话号码都不知道的?分手前在火车站软磨硬泡失败后,默笙气呼呼地掉头就跑。

可没跑几步就后悔了,气什么呢,也许再耍赖一下,以琛就心软了呢。可是回头看看,火车站前已经没有以琛的身影了。

回到家就开始闷闷不乐,东西没心思吃,电视看了也不知道在放什么,后来不知怎么异想天开,开始每天跑上街,想着也许会遇到以琛。

然后,竟然真的遇到了。

那是年后的一天,天空飘着小雪,他和彼时尚不认识的以玫在马路对面走过,她那时根本反应不过来了,竟然真的遇到了,其实没抱什么希望的,这个城市有那么多人……下一刻她已经飞快地冲过马路,扑上去抱住他……

好像就是在这棵树下,那个戴着毛茸茸白帽子的女孩,抱着那个因路人暧昧目光而尴尬的少年,兴奋地大叫:“以琛,我就知道会遇到你的。我就知道!”

默笙闭了闭眼睛。

当他们之间已成往事,最难堪的便是一切清晰如昨。

她着了魔似的拿出相机,向那其实空无一人的地方,按下快门。

洗出来的照片上是空旷的马路,无人走过,一片空白。

节后上班,默笙的工作更加忙碌起来。

只有小红很闲,她一个栏目刚刚结束,正在空窗期,每天在默笙办公室闲晃,操心她的终身大事。

“阿笙,你不能再这样虚度下去了,要知道时间就是青春美貌,你现在找个男人那叫拯救社会,再过两年出去就是残害男同胞,而且……”小红神秘兮兮地附耳,“现在比较符合生理规律哎,阿笙,你晚上难道不想躺在一个温暖的怀抱里入眠?”

“小红你……昨天又做那种梦了?”

“偶尔嘛!”假装很害羞,脸红低头,摇晃身体,过了一会她严肃起来,“阿笙,你现在总算正常了,前段时间好像男人被抢了一样。”

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35 条评论 发表在“第四章 命运(4)”上

  1. 说道:

    天真岁月不忍欺
    青春荒唐我不负你

  2. 说道:

    我们这边也有一座山叫金鸡山 也是埋人的。。。

  3. 郭家三妹说道:

    我真的无法用好看来评论这部小说,对于这部小说来说,好看这个词语表达不出来深层意义,任何赞美的词语都衬托不出这部小说的光环。

  4. 爱旭如秋说道:

    在那么多的小说里这部小说可以说是我的最爱了,起码看了3、4遍,当听说唐焉与钟汉良出演这部剧的时候我的心就凉了,这么好看的小说怎么就不能好好的挑好演员来演呢,不用看也知道这部剧出来是多么的垃圾了,就像当初的会有天使替我爱你一样,让我感觉无望。。。

  5. 凉薄之心说道:

    额,还可以吧

  6. 阿曼说道:

    看到这里,没什么特别的感觉啊。

  7. 钟心为甯说道:

    这部小说很好看,并不是三言两语就能够把内心所有的赞美全表达出来太经典了!乌龟漫,加油!!!

  8. 小柚子说道:

    默笙 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

  9. 爱她毁我你不配。说道:

    这部小说好看吖。只是阅读不适合我,更期待电视剧版的。 很期待能有这么美好的爱情 也希望有这么一个他等着我。

  10. 匿名说道:

    有些感觉电视剧是呈现不出来的,看小说时想象一下反而更让人心痛。

    • Jorja说道:

      Thank you, Tom. This relationship with my mother is really a gift and is one I am most grateful for.I understand about your dad struggling with his own ismesu…sase thing with my mother. She is who she is and where she is.I appreciate your kind comment.

  11. 他不爱我.说道:

    “我可能太懦弱了,接受不了。为什么明明我走的时候还是一个人,现在却是一块碑?”看到这句话,泪奔,我爸有一对双胞胎女儿,从小到大最爱我们,现在我们长大了,却很少陪在爸爸身边,过年好好陪爸爸/

  12. 他.说道:

    “我可能太懦弱了,接受不了。为什么明明我走的时候还是一个人,现在却是一块碑?”看到这句话,泪奔,我爸有一对双胞胎女儿,从小到大最爱我们,现在我们长大了,却很少陪在爸爸身边,过年好好陪爸爸/

  13. 听'格林说道:

    很心疼,很有感觉,一样

  14. ♚Weirdo说道:

    这部小说我初中就买来看过了看了好几遍 作者好棒!准备再看一遍哈哈

  15. 匿名说道:

    看着默笙对父亲说的话,泪奔!离别时父女心情深,回来后却阴阳两隔。

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  17. 喂喂说道:

    带着对恋人的误会离开,刚到美国不久就传来了爸爸噩耗,独自一人在异国他乡漂泊,这份独楚,也许自有自身其中才有最深切的感受吧!所以面对何以琛理性又冷漠的那一句:你要不要再回到我身边“赵默笙真的不知道如何面对,曾经的失去,让她痛侧心扉,她害怕再失去

  18. 倾城说道:

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